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July 9th, 2007
A “Lonesome Loser” Wants to Be Derek

It pains me greatly that I cannot enter Terry into the contest. It’s not that he wouldn’t make a perfect Derek. No, no, of course not - no, that’s not it. Instead, I can’t enter him because …

… uh … um …

… He’d have an unfair advantage. Yes, yes, that’s it. He’d have an unfair advantage because, last month, I interviewed both Todd and Terry on my live talk show, “Chatting with Chase” (and Terry wrote a lovely poem for me afterwards).

So, listen to the show, check out his entry below — and you’ll understand why his picture says a thousand words. And then tell me … do you think Terry should be allowed to enter the contest?

Photo 1 of Terry T.Name: Terry T.
Age: 25
Occupation: Romance Analyst and Dating Expert
Hobbies: Love-making, pleasure, sensuality, doing it
Web Site:
www.thelonesomelosers.com
View Photo #2: Terry T. Photo #2

Listen to Terry’s SEX LOUNGE Excerpt:

Have you ever helped a woman live out her fantasies?: “Many times. It’s almost ridiculous even answering this question.”

Tell us about it : “I don’t know if I could pick the “best” example. That’s the whole reason my friend Todd and I started a web show giving dating advice; we knew people could benefit from our natural expertise.

If there’s one thing I have in common with Derek Mitchell, it is that I am completely and naturally in touch with what women find SENSUAL. You have to know how to push the right SENSUAL BUTTON, and I, like Derek, know exactly what that button is. I have a natural tact at discovering a woman’s sensual fantasy.

I’ll give you an example: I was on a first date with this hot little vixen, and as we were walking down the street after dinner, she just had to stop every dog that came along and touch it, pet it, coo at it. She loved dogs.

Flash forward to our second date: Vixen and I are making out heavy upstairs in my crib, pretty standard stuff. But I’m not a standard guy, and I wanted her to live out her fantasy, so I got to thinking… what would really push her ’sensual button’? What would she consider ‘living out her fantasy?’ And then it hit me: DOGS.

I told her I had to slip downstairs to get some massage oil (yeah, right). So I snuck downstairs, grabbed an old fur scarf thing of my mom’s, and threw it into a blender with some School Glue. I turned it on high power, and blended up a viscous concoction… a concoction that I felt certain would lead to love. I smeared it all over my body until my naked torso was covered in fur (next time I might use a different adhesive: the glue took a few days to come off, and I couldn’t use the bathroom during that time, but it was worth it).

When I returned to the bedroom, my little vixen went wild… wild with passion. She loved it, and as my furry, sticky body met her soft skin, I knew she was living out her dream.

Derek would have done the same. When she and I left the hospital a few days later, I knew she’d fulfilled a fantasy, and I’d just done my job.

Rachelle, meet your new Derek Mitchell.”

6 comments to “A “Lonesome Loser” Wants to Be Derek”

  1. […] NOTE: Terry from “The Lonesome Losers Show” submitted his contest entry. Check out his entry on the blog - and see why I couldn’t post it here. […]


  2. Oh Rachelle, what a way to start the day!

    That is hillarious, I love it! I totally understand why you’re not so sure about letting him enter the contest!

    The picture says it all!!


  3. Definitely an unfair advantage. This guy would win, hands down (or up, or all over the place)!

    Eliza, 26, Hollywood


  4. Ok, you got MY vote! Your’re Derek!


  5. Thanks for casting your vote, Eliza and Chris. I’m sure you’ve made Terry very happy …


  6. I’m very happy indeed… I’m so glad my entry was posted. Thanks, Rachelle
    -Terry




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