I am waiting for the sequel, What Men Want, to come out. :-) Though, the serious version, not a comedy.

The statement below seems to be a key point of your answer and, while I can understand why you feel this way, it’s not my experience:

Women have it easier as they are the ones being propositioned, which gives them the upperhand since men have to lay everything on the line so that the woman can see what she is getting.

I think the only part of being ‘propositioned’ that gives a woman the ‘upper hand’ is that, since the guy came to her, she knows he’s interested in her for something (which she still has to try and figure out what he’s really interested in her for). As opposed to the guy, who has to risk propositioning a woman without really knowing for sure whether or not he’ll be rejected - yes, this part, being the pursuer and possibly facing rejection, is harder.

But, after this first interaction - when both parties are interested/engaged - the playing field is pretty even. Just like the man, the woman has to ‘re-learn’ - because every man is different. Both sexes have to figure out where the other one is coming from, determine if everything’s on the up and up, if he/she is right for them, etc.

Thanks for sharing your opinion - and making this discussion so interesting and informative, Nego. I’ve truly enjoyed it.

Best,
Rachelle

I think it’s interesting to note the similarities between men and women - you mention that men “don’t know what’s expected of them until they are in a situation.” I think this holds true for women, too, as every man is different and what’s ‘expected’ by one is not the same for the other. So women share that … confusion, too.

I love your statement about a woman “commands” the relationship. Ahhhh, I wish that were so, as I would carry my magic wand with me always. :-) Seriously, I do agree that women are the ones that give the green and red lights and set the boundaries for what will or will not happen in an encounter or relationship - with a willing, interested guy, that is.

I don’t quite understand what you mean by this statement:

“… so he has to pretty much get in where he fits in and has to relearn his woman. So its not so much that a man is being a dog or a player or being emotionally unattached, it’s just that he’s trying to fill that void the best way society will allow him to.”

Could you explain?

Best,
Rachelle

I think that’s an excellent technique - sexy talk during sex can not only be arousing, but also informative. And I’m happy to hear that it works for you, too.

So … can I ask you another question? Since you admit to being shy, would you ever enter a contest like mine? Why or why not?

Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment!

It has worked well, for a shy person like me.

And Cherie, ditto the feelings about your husband. It is very endearing and refreshing to discover men’s vulnerabilities, as it makes us feel closer to them, not to mention how great is feels to discover ways in which we are alike, instead of always focusing on the differences.

So, my surprise is not that these men have not come forward, but rather, the ones Tina refers to: Those who talk a “big game.” Now, while this can sometimes mask insecurity, sometimes it seems genuine. There are those men who seem to be comfortable with their sexuality who I was surprised to discover may not have been.

A friend of mine recently told me that he wouldn’t enter my contest because, while he’s comfortable with his sexuality, he’s not comfortable in making it public, putting it out there.

BTW, I second your opinion on wanting “real men” in real life, Tina.

Mia, Cherie, and Tina - thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts!

Kudos to the guys who did come out to chat. I’ve met Fred, who is a total sweetheart, but haven’t had the pleasure of talking to the other two yet. :) Hi guys!!